Dear Spokesperson to the Disappointed Lapland Adventurers,
While I would like to take this opportunity to sympathise for all those you represent, I'm not going to. We've all been ripped off at some time or another. Sometimes it is unavoidable and irreparable. However, most of us never have the opportunity to see it coming. This misadventure to Lapland should have been sniffed out a mile off. Allow me to explain.
The Lapland Adventure that you were all so looking forward to for your children was situated in Dorset. Anybody who has been to Dorset for any length of time that is longer than simply driving through it knows that the entire county is a hole. And not just any hole. This hole is the very model of a modern major ramshackle. You don't need extensive market acumen specific to the leisure industry to know that Dorset can't even manage an English county never mind a Winter Wonder Land.
My letter is a little late after the fact and I do apologise. I only came to notice that the story was coming out of Dorset today.
Perhaps next time if you want a Christmas experience for your children keep it at home behind closed doors where it belongs.
Get your shit together.
Yours Faithfully,
Mr. Southey.
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